Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Motherly advice needed. best answer = 10 pts!?

My boyfriend is in band. He's 17, I am 16. We have been together for over a year and are very much in love, despite our ages or us being young..we are. I just can't stand band season..it ends November 17th..I can't stand some of the girls in his band and how he says that some have crushes on him..I cant stand not atlking to him hardly at all for weeks becaue of band tri[s, this is just making me so stressd. Im sitting up waiting on him to get home from a concert so we can tlak now. I don't want to give up, but im just missing him soo freaing much. I'll HOPEFULLY see him a week from Sunday..and we see each other when we can..since we live a hour and a half apart..like every other weeekend..we've broke up before bc of the way he's treated me..cussing at me..telling me to stfu..and even telling me seeing me isnt his top priortiy and how he just doesnt car.e.but he has changedd..and is still of the middle of changing..im just so stressed out over this band season and his friends in the band..and when we cant talk i get so mad..and upset..and stres even more..im stressed over my family due to my dad leaving for Iraq again soon, and trying to keep my school grades from falling.and then worrying about him..im just worried sick..how do I handle this situation..what do I do..please help..





thank you so much.


I have not slept in almost two day hardly. :(Motherly advice needed. best answer = 10 pts!?
i know time moves very slowly when your young, but you'll be ok. and i know how stressful being sperated from you bf can be. i am in the army and my husband (then boyfriend) were there together but sometimes either him or i would have to go on missions and be away from one another for days or weeks. and when he was gone i had a hard time with it cuz i didn't know if he was gonna get hurt or something while he was out. best thing to do i think, is make the best of the time you have with who you love and when you away from one another keep busy and try to make yourself really tired so you just fall asleep when you go to bed. hang out with other people and do thing that make you think so your not thinking of other things. you'll be alright. good luck and tell you father to be safe out there.Motherly advice needed. best answer = 10 pts!?
Oh, grow up. There is more in life than you, the world does not revolve around you and be proud that he is in the band and not on a street corner scoring dope. You are just a piece of fluff and if you want him to be there for you, change that frickin attitude of yours.
My advice would be to dump him. You are young. You should be more worried about getting good grades and keeping as many doors open for yourself in the future.
Stop seeing him


he is no good


you will be sorry if you do not break off with him asap





You deserve loving words and attention from your man


when you are older- not right now, too much going on to be real.


maybe you could ask someone you trust


like an older woman that you know if you do not believe me


i know what i am talking about here





what kind of life do you want for your self.


?





Find something you like and are good at ,


get out of the house asap and study adn get a job


then


meet a man who you have shared beliefs


like religious or attitudes or just similar ways of being.





Right now you share nothing with this jerk and it is just getting worse.





BE real


Accept that your DAD is going for a while





but he will be back





so don't throw your life away


You will miss him, but use this time when he is away to grow up a little.





Your Dad is putting his life on the line so all of us can have choices and be safe and life without fear.


Honor your Dad by recoginizing what is good for you.





And what is not.


make better choices and get your homework done.





Don't be one of those girls who act like they have no brains


because you have not thought this out thouroughly.





you have a brain


just sit and think


do the thing you need


get someone else


who believes in things you belieive in


like showing love instead of hate.








You are always loved by him, your DAD


even thought you might feel alone.


His love is always there.


He would say that to you if he could


.


For your sake,


your fathers


honor


don't go looking for trouble


wth this guy.





you have your whole life to live. respect yourself and the gift your parents gave you- life





You sound so sweet.


don't let this horrible situation ruin your ability to love and be loved.





Accept reality


Get a boyfriend if you really need one-


who is not in band


and who adores you


everything you do


and wants to be with you only.





Hold out for this


and it will come your way





probably when you DAD comes home from his tour


you will be older and more mature





Repeat this often


I love my self


all of myself


I love my mind


my heart and all of my feelings.





Repeat three times a day


and forget about the jerk


he is showing you what he is made of


so don't wait until he starts acting out again- this time maybe worse





you are valuable


you have a lot of things to do





Breathe and go to bed/


get over this you are only a teenager for a coupla years


you are anadult the rest of your life


don't blow it. just believe in yourself and that nomatterwhat


you are ok.





LOVE
i used to have a boyfriend that i Only saw every other weekend due to distance and it was had but we made it through u just need to express to him ur feelings about the band maby some times when they go on trips he will let you tag along and but try not to act like the over protective jealous girlfriend i know it can be hard but some times it the long run it works out if it is meant to be it will be good luck hun
Listen up, sister!


We have a lot in common. My boyfriend is 22 and I'm 18, he is in a band and he also lives about an hour away from me.


Listen to me, please please please!! Don't let him talk to you like that! Verbal abuse hurts just as much as physical. First, decide if it's worth it. Enough nagging about that.


On to the band thing, don't worry about what he is doing! He is 17, he can't get into a bar! (BE THANKFUL!) If he loves you, he won't bat an eyelash at the girls in his group. I think a really great way to get through tour season is to make a scrapbook of what you do while he is away, and give it to him when he gets back. My boyfriend LOVES this! It will also give you something to do while he is away. It will occupy you and give you less time to worry.


Also, relax. School is VERY important! Don't let a guy bring down your grades because they are crucial to your future!


If you need more help my AIM is EnvyMarilynX .


No matter what happens, you will be okay, I promise!%26lt;3
Honestly if he's causing you that much stress I would take a break. From the short description you gave it also seems to be kind of one sided with you being the one whos putting in more effort. (Just what I got from the description may not be true =) ) And since you said that he used to swear and yell at you that is not a good sign, even if he says hes changing chances are hes not. So my advice would be to take a break and focus on doing things you love!
It sounds like your not his top priority, so why is he yours? If you guys are truly in love then things will work out on their own. Your young and should be focused on what you want to do in life...not how you can work your life around a guy. Guys come and go...he may be the one or someone else might be...who knows for sure? One thing my mom and grandparents always told me is be sure to take care of yourself first and get a good education/job so that you don't have to depend on anyone else. Start thinking more about what your gonna do after high school rather than spending all your time worrying over this guy. The guy may not always be there, but you'll have your education forever. Also, go out with the gal pals and have some fun!
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